I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Girls should come with a carfax report
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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