We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.