I CAN MOONWALK!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.