okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
