We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You have to summon your inner elephant
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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