sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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