She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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