I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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