Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
