Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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