Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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