You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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