somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
