so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
a search helicopter?!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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