Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize