so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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