In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
