oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
