a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize