Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
