I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
