I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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