So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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