Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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