life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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