Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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