I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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