As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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