you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
