dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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