great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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