Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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