There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
