Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
