i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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