i think my mom watched the whole time
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
