i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
