I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize