I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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