It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
