Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
