I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
