I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
