Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
