the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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