Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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