He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
FUCK WHALES
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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