sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
