We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
