I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
