let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
