someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
