the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think a kid would responsible me up
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
