I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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