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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Randomize