he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
