i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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