Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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