meet me or not, i'm out of control
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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