this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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