Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
