I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Two words: nipple clamps
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