this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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