why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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